My Lovely Eileen
It's late afternoon on Remembrance Sunday.
The light has all but gone now, on what has been a typical November day - grey, wet and thoroughly miserable.
Not surprisingly, this Remembrance Sunday has been so much more emotional.
It's been impossible not to think back to this same day last year.
Pretty close to the same time of day too.
We were sitting together on the landing. You in your armchair; me sitting facing you, as close to you as I could get.
We were listening to the radio which was on in the bedroom, behind us.
It was Paul O'Grady.
Because of the significance of the day he chose to play a particular record - a Vera Lynn one.
Although neither was much aware of the war at time - we were both war 'babies' - we became familiar with this song through our parents.
It was, of course, 'We'll meet again.'
In virtual darkness, we lent in to each other until our foreheads touched, looked into each other's eyes, held hands tightly and, tears streaming down our faces, sang along with the record...
'We'll meet again.
Don't know where,don't know when.
But I know we'll meet again,
Some sunny day.
Keep smiling through
As you always do
'Til the blue skies chase those dark clouds
And when it was finished, we continued to sit there together like that for a very long time.
Neither of us wished to break the moment by moving.
We didn't say anything.
We didn't need to.
We both knew exactly what the other was thinking.
The tears said it all.
Today, my Love, has been one of the darkest days since you went away.
I knew it was going to be, because of those memories.
And it has been.
But recalling them, and setting them down here, has helped.
Losing you was tough.
Knowing I was losing you was tougher.
But knowing you were losing everything was heartbreaking.
And still is.
Memories and photographs are good.
But they are no substitute for the real thing. Nothing is.
As the song says, 'We'll meet again some sunny day'.
And we will.
Love and miss you so much with every day that passes.
Yours, for ever