Saturday, 12 June 2010


My Darling E

Meant to tell you, I received a lovely e-mail from Sarah D a few weeks ago.

She wanted me to know she is running 'Race for Life for you in Bradford tomorrow (13 June). 

Sarah's not doing it on her own either.  She has persuaded her Mum, her sister in law (Caroline) and her 7 year old niece (Luna) to join in as well.

In addition to herself, Lynn and Judith (from your Lexicon days) are doing the run also.

Quite a group!  Just hope they have as much fun as everyone who did it in Basildon last Sunday,

Sarah said she feels a bit cheeky as they're only going to walk it, but knows the main thing is them all getting together and taking part, in your memory.  

I know you would love them for looking at it like that - because it's exactly how you saw the 'Race for Life' each time you did it.

She has promised to send me some photos afterwards.

That will be good as I want to tell you soon about all the people elsewhere who have already - or soon will have - run the 'Race for Life' on your behalf.


Sarah was really helpful back in January.

When she heard about you, she wrote a really sympathetic letter and included two passages of words that she though I might find consoling.

I did.  In fact we printed both of them on your 'Order of Service'.  

There wasn't an opportunity for them to be read out during the service.  But they were read.  I know that from the number of people I spoke to on the day.

The first - a quite short one - has particular resonance for me...

"Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever e were to each other
That we are still."

We were such a part of each other for so long that I know you are still there for me.

During our lives together, whichever home it was, we never ever closed internal doors.  We always preferred them to be open.  And that's how it still is. 

There is so much of you here. The doors to the rooms remain open and always will. 

You meant so much to me, I could never ever shut you out of my life.


Sarah said she likes my blog and these little 'pieces' I write to you.

"It's so nice, and moving to read about Eileen," she said. 
"Some of the things you have written about remind me of chats I had years and years ago with Eileen, when we worked together."
"I remember her telling me about her house and how she 'fell for the boy next door', so it was really lovely to hear your side of the story too."
In her e-mail she ended by saying, 'Please keep in touch'.
"It's years since I last saw Eileen but I miss her so much.  I miss writing her all those letters, never mind reading the ones she sent me."

When I e-mailed her back I told her you so loved getting her lovely 'newsy' letters with their photographs, even though in the last couple of years you had found it difficult to pen a reply to her yourself. 

I said I would. And I will - for your sake and mine.

Like Sarah, there are so many people who miss you.

I just wish you did not have to go away when you did.  But I know why you had to - and I understand. 

Understanding doesn't make it any easier to live without you, however.

Love and miss you so much