Monday, 19 April 2010

Keeping Busy - Mostly

My Darling Eileen

We are now well into April and it is over three months since you left us. 

I am sorry I have not written for a while, but I have been trying to keep myself busy and not dwell on things too much.  I succeed - mostly.

As I said last time, the garden takes up some of my attention.  It needs some serious TLC to get it back to the way you used to have it.  And that's what it's getting now. 

Over the last few days I have continued to tidy up the front and back gardens. I have 'karcher'd' the path at the front and the patio at the back, and have also cleaned out and re-filled the 'pond'.  I still have the fences to paint.  Next weekend, I hope.    

As you see the back garden is looking more like its old self.  The blossom on the two cherry trees has now faded.  You can see some of the last few petals that have fallen on the surface of the fresh water in the 'pond'.  Don't mind the odd petal or blossom.  It's the leaves that annoy.  Still it should be a while before we get many of them.

I will take pictures for you each month as the summer - and my gardening efforts - progress. 

When I was working on the front, I realised I needed to do something about the window boxes.  They have been empty too long - but we both know the reason.  The lavender bushes in the blue pots in the front garden and the back are rather straggly and need replacing as well.  With more of same, naturally, as you loved lavenders so much.

Will never forget the way you could never pass a lavender plant anywhere, without you bending down to run your hands and fingers up the stems.  Then you would cup your palms to your face and breath in that heady fragrance you adored so much.  

Do you remember when you were recuperating in High Wood that summer and I would wheel you on long walks around the grounds? 

On them, we would always try and pass that one flower bed that was well stocked with lavender bushes.  You would get me to stop as close as we could get to them, then you would lean down and stroke the branches with your good left hand. 

And then you would look up at me, smile and bring your hand to your face and then mine, knowing that the smell would stay with you long after you were back on the ward.  And that lovely arome would remain with me too, well after I had kissed you goodnight and made my way home.  

Talking about this, has now stirred my memory about that other time during one of those walks, when we were caught by a sudden, sharp summer storm.

Do you remember me pushing you in your wheelchair and you holding on for all you were worth, both of laughing and giggling, while we raced to find shelter under an awning on one of the outbuildings.  

It now seems so long ago - and so difficult to accept what has happened to us since then. 

So, my Love, there will always be lavender in the garden here at '28'.    

Having them there will remind me always of you and how much you mean to me. 

My lovely Eileen, I do miss you so very much.  Life will never be the same again without you.      

All my love