The more this month of May has gone on, the more I have been reflecting on how things were for us this time to years ago.
There were all the various scans you had to undergo. A CT scan, then an ultrasound scan. Must not forget either, the extra ultrasound scan you were called back for, which left us both in a real state of anxiety over a whole weekend.
Then there were meetings with the consultant; Kim, the colorectal nurse; and Liz who took you through the pre-op checkup.
In spite of all this we did, in the circumstances, try to live a normal life.
I recall we spent an enjoyable weekend with Nikki and Adrian - and Darcy of course. And how Oma made the most of her time with Darcy on both days.
A few days later, we went across to stay with Charlotte and Ivan, for Oma to have as much fun with Caitlin and Reuben.
Looking back it is pleasing to see you so happy and relaxed, but then you were so proud to be an Oma and to have such lovely grandchildren.
I know having grandchildren was one big thrill for you. I'm so sad you didn't get to enjoy it for too long.
The Saturday before you were due to go into hospital we decided to do something at last with our newly-acquired free bus passes.
This is the text you sent to Adrian and Nikki before we left home...
‘Thank u 4 the lovely card and thoughts. Hv a w’full day with evbody at bbq - weather sound quite gd. We’re having a trip on our free bus passes and going 2 Maldon. Hp our lovely g’daughter has a w’ful smiley fun day with all her guys! Luv Eileen, mumso and oma xxx’
The bus station at Chelmsford was quite windy and chilly. So while waiting for our connection you decided to stand round the corner in the sun...
When we got to Maldon we walked down to the Hythe and had beers and a pleasant lunch in the Queen's Head. (Another benefit of having the bus pass and not having to drive, you pointed out.)
We then strolled along the Quay, passed the boat workshops, and way out along the path beside the river, watching an assortment of boats make their way up and down the river.
We found an empty bench in the sun, some way out and sat there together, sharing quiet thoughts and quiet words.
How little we knew what lay ahead of us then, as we walked back to the town and the bus home.
Would give anything to re-live so many, many happy days like that one again.
Do miss you so.
Ever yours, my love,