May, as you know, used to be good month for us - a clutch of birthdays among family and friend, and the promise of warmer days and more sunshine.
Everything you enjoyed so much.
That, however, all took a knock two years ago.
May 2008 was not a good month for either of us. We both knew what we had learned on the first of May that year - and what you were having to face before the end of the month.
As a result there were the usual everyday things that we continued to do during the month, all the time trying to be positive and optimistic under the cloud of uncertainty that hung over us. Life as normal, we tried to tell ourselves.
Memories of those days have now become so much more poignant and precious, because of what has happened in our lives since then.
Today is the 8th of May.
I never kept a diary, but the photographs I took exactly two years ago, reveal that we were staying over at Charlotte and Ivan's. Making the most of our time with them, and Caitlin and Reuben. Helping them out with some DIY too, I guess, judging by the state of my chinos.
These are the photographs I mean...
It's wonderful to be able to look back and see how lovely you looked and remember just how much you were enjoying life with our grandchildren, even if the outlook was far from clear right then.
(Don't worry, photos of you with Darcy will follow soon.)
I know you would have given anything to have had more time with them, to play with them, read to them and watch them grow up.
I am so sorry you will miss out on that. And they will so miss out on being with their wonderful Oma.
Life has been so unfair to you - and to them.
But we are doing everything to keep your memory alive for them - by talking with them about you - and through photographs like these.
I promise we will never ever forget you.
Or ever stop loving you.
Miss you every minute there is, my love.
Ever yours,
Trevor
xxx
